Here's To New Beginnings!

Firstly, I just want to say a huge hello and welcome to my brand new blog!!
If you've made it over here from 'a mental mum's little world' then thank you for continuing to support me! Really means a lot! 😊

So, why the new blog??
Well, December really has seen some massive changes in my life (more on that in a bit!) So I thought, what better way to celebrate this 'New Chapter' in my life, than with a brand new blog to go with it!

So, I guess for those of you who don't know me very well, I'd better tell you a little more about me and why I blog 😉

My name is Melissa and I am a very scatty, music-loving, chocoholic, bookworm who also happens to be a single mum to 2 gorgeous kiddies (known in my blogs as Little Man and Little Miss)
We all live with my parents (poor them!) in a town in West Berkshire, UK and really help each other out. Both of my parents are disabled you see. So while they help me with looking after my kids, I help them with things like cleaning and acting as my dad's carer when mum's out working.

I started my first little blog, 'a mental mum's mental world' way back in 2011!
I had recently taken the massive decision to leave my dream career of primary teaching, so that I could concentrate on being a better mum and wife. I needed an outlet, a place where I could share my thoughts and feelings on key events that had happened in our family life, but more often than not, on the struggles I faced with my severe depression. (have suffered since I was 17 and have been permanently medicated on 'happy pills' from the age of 23)
It was a place where no one knew me, (I never shared the link with any friends or family, I didn't want to back then!) so I could be myself and not worry about being judged or having to censure what I wrote too much. At the time, it was just what I needed! Though I freely admit, it was often sadly neglected!!

This blog however is taking that base-line and moving forward with it!
After struggling through a miscarriage, post natal depression, my husband leaving me (due to my depression) and then cheating on me. Divorce and a horrendous roller coaster ride with my depression, I have finally made it here - by the skin of my teeth at times, to be feeling brave enough to 1) draw a line on the last 6 years and 2) feel brave enough to share it with everyone I know!

I have in just the last 6 weeks (thanks to a change in one of my 'happy pills'!) had a major shift in my life! My depression seems to have levelled into a controllable state (only taken 18 years, heehee!) and I have started to take steps to make a new life; not just for my kids, but for me!
I have gone from having no job 6 years ago, with no clue as to how I would ever hold one down again, to having 3 voluntary jobs and now a PAID one too!

It feels like I have finally woken up from being in a 'zombie-state' for such a long time!
I'm starting to find my feet and myself again - the 'real me' is resurfacing, after going AWOL 5 years ago! heehee!

I no longer need 10-12 hours (minimum) of sleep per night (with a nap during the day as well on occasion!) to managing on less than 6! I may still have insomnia, but I can at least now get up in the morning to help my kids get ready for school (Little Miss in particular!) even if I can't quite manage to get them there yet! (Thank you heaps mum!!!)

I finally feel like a 'real mum' again, and not just a person who my kids live with!
I no longer look at other mums in the playground at 'pick-up' time and wish I could feel like an equal, instead of some 'imposter' who had to rely heavily on her mum, because she couldn't cope herself!

I am working on building my self-belief, self-worth and confidence. Being brave and taking small steps each day to helping to keep that nagging voice in my head (the one that just loves to tell me how useless and worthless I am) in check!

I no longer fear the future! After leaving teaching (the job I had dreamed of being from the age of 5!) I felt lost. I didn't know what to do next and that scared the hell out of me!
Now, I have a much more positive outlook on life. I don't know what challenges and struggles are coming next, but I've made peace with that! I am truly the happiest I have been in years!

So I am going to leave 2017, finally heading in a direction in life that I am happy about!
Don't get me wrong, I am not walking around in rose-tinted glasses or anything, heehee!😉
I'm  totally prepared to 'roll up my sleeves' to get stuck into whatever challenges come my way next

If you fancy joining me on this new adventure into the next chapter of my life, then you're most welcome! 😊